'Lady' in the bus

Following is one of the memorable events happened with my mother that I would like to narrate to you. For maintaining the secrecy on the issue, I have avoided mentioning any direct names.   

It was the summer of 1999. My mother, who  worked for Life Insurance Corporation of India, was posted at the LIC branch at Chopda city of Jalgaon district in northern Maharashtra. My parents rented a place in the nearby city of Amalner so as to easily commute between  her office at Chopda which was a 2 hour bus ride from Amalner as well as her In-laws' house located in a small village on the outskirts of  Amalner. Being in a new city and an entirely new environment, it was difficult for a 27 year old married woman to settle down, mainly due to the fact that she hadn't been away from her home-town Mumbai  on any prior occasion. My dad being with her, was an assuring thing, for otherwise being completely alone would have aggravated the nervousness and fear of the new place.

One advantage, or sometimes even a disadvantage, of being born in a north Maharashtrian family is that we have a tremendous number of relatives. I would not even count some of them as relatives, because in case of my family, even an acquaintance we meet  at a wedding will turn out to be our distant relative of some sort. The reason I mention this is because, though Amalner was new to my mom, we had all those acquaintances that would reside in or near the city. These relatives then followed  the age old custom of inviting the new settlers to their house for tea. But I wouldn't complain because these household visits helped mom to get to know the place better as well as it served a  good pastime in weekends.

The strangeness of the place coupled with the 2 hour long hectic bus ride to the office was proving a tedious routine that would sometimes make my mom regret her decision of opting for a transfer at Chopda. But the guilt did not continue for long. As days passed by, mom soon realised that, like her, the other passengers who commuted through the bus were also the everyday commuters. She was even able to remember their faces after a week or so. Sometime later, she befriended a few of the ladies passengers and was now finding some comfort in a rather boring journey. 

One weekend, my parents visited my aunts' mom's place nearby. My aunt had four younger sisters and two brothers, all of whom were raised by her mom alone after an untimely early death of her dad. The women was old, but having raised seven children and the rigorous hard work put into it had made her very strong. She was warm and welcoming to my parents and she served them tea . Later, they all discussed their lives, their daily chores, their problems, their challenges and their sorrows. Since my mom was close to her just as a daughter would be, the woman opened her heart to her. She would say that all her sons and daughters have their own equipped families and satisfying lives. The only regret she would ever have was that she could not do fair with the life of her second daughter. That, her daughter living a widow life same as her would be the guilt that would not let her die in peace. My mom wasn't fully aware about the tragedy her second daughter had gone through, though she knew better not to ask right then. Later at home, when enquired from dad, she found that the husband of her second daughter had committed suicide by hanging himself in his house.  Mom was  shocked to know this, wondering why would the man bring such days of hardship on his family, his wife and his two kids. But people forget and eventually lives move on, both of the people who hear the tragedy as well as of the person who went through that tragedy .

On one  fine day, a lady came and sat next to mom at the Amalner bus depot. Mom had recognised her face and soon found out that the lady had recognised hers too. They both had the usual talks discussing about which part of the city they stay in, their families, their workplaces, their education, etc. Though being  approximately of the same age as of mom, the lady revealed that she was unmarried yet, the reason being family issues. After a while the lady got off the bus, few stops before mom did. The next day they managed to sit together and continued to grow their acquaintance and soon this bus journey flourished into a good friendship. Mom was now much relaxed, partly because due to grown familiarity with the co-workers at the office and mainly because of the new 'Lady' friend she had made along the way to the office every day.

Once, when dad went to drop mom at the bus depot, he caught a glimpse of the new 'Lady' friend that mom had made. Being a bit hesitant and doubtful, he left off. Later that day when mom came home, dad enquired about the 'Lady' and how mom knows her. Mom casually stated that lady boards the same bus as that of hers and that they had become good friends since the past few days. Dad, in a state of being both shocked and annoyed, explained that the woman mom has been befriending since the last few days was the reason my aunts' sister was a widow. Ashamed of having an extra-marital affair with that lady and the fear of his wife and her family knowing of his affair had compelled the man to hang himself. Dad had also made mom realise that keeping any contact with that woman whatsoever would prove insulting towards our relatives. Mom was shell shocked.

Mom had understood the gravity of the situation. No matter how good their friendship had been and how comforting those last few days had been, mom  knew she couldn't continue it. The next day itself, mom changed the bus. After three years, mom was posted back to Mumbai and hence left Amalner. Never in her life did she again meet the friend that had made her journey so worthwhile in trying to survive those difficult days.

When mom told me of this incident for the first time, I remember thinking, as a matter of fact, judging on my own whether what my mom did was right or wrong. The suicide may have different perspective, maybe the woman was not a bad person just because the guy she loved had hanged himself, maybe she was not the reason my aunt's sister was a widow with two kids to look after, maybe she was just a simple woman who helped my mom go through those early lonesome days of a newbie. But then later I realised, judging that  Lady was not the main focus behind this incident. She had her own reasons, her own issues and situations to go through.Llike my aunt's sister, she too had lost a loved one. The whole point of the incident was that it made me realise that there never exists a purely one-dimensional human entity. Like my mom, no person is fully right or even fully wrong, but is two-dimensional. She wasn't godly enough in accepting her friend in spite of her past deeds, nor was she even a bit evil in regretting their moments of friendship.  Maybe she was just being, what we call as, Human.